Muff-Man...Idea! Idea you COULD use that sealer ALL OVER YOUR BODY and we can call you SCUBA MAN !and if you get a tie and cumber bun you can go from fishing to 'black tie' without having t change
maybe just from flippers t' wing tips ! hahahahahaaa

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:07 pm

OH MAN !!!!!! That's somefunny s**it right there.

how about we get a different color spray for you and we could be some freakin superhero fishing duo.

"The adventures of Muffin man and his sidekick riverrat"
Catching 9lb smallies in a floating cardboard box.

You Jackwagon!!!

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:41 pm

There's a NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN:People of Nantucket be warned !
There once was a man from Mass., Who's Balls were made of brass...when they clanged together they made stormy weather and lightning bolts shot from his ass ---let's see the 'man from Nantucket" pull that s*** off

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:33 pm

A lawyer is sitting in his parked BMW when a tow truck crashes into the car. The crash takes car door clean off and the driver speeds away. The lawyer immediately signals a cop and begins ranting about how much the damage to his car is going to cost. The cop replies, "You lawyers are so materialistic. All you care about is money." The lawyer says, "How DARE you call me materialistic." The cop replies, "Well, you've been so concerned about your car that you didn't notice that your arm is missing." The lawyer screams, "f***! My Rolex!"

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:13 pm

My friends wife asked me to prepare his son for his first day of school. ...He's a ginger so I punched him in the face and stole his lunch money

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 4:24 pm

How do you know dogs are man's best friend?

Well, try this: Lock your best friend and your dog into the trunk of your car for three hours. When you go back and open it up, which one is glad to see you?

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:46 pm

A dad walks in on his blind son who is beating off.
Dad says "you better slow down or you'll go....nevermind"

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:50 pm

I had lunch with a chess player yesterday.
It took him Thirty minutes to pass the salt.

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:53 pm

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:08 pm

The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:10 pm

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.

Posted Thu Dec 08, 2011 7:12 pm

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or Sex" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."

Posted Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:18 am

hahaha

Posted Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:41 am

STORY OF MY LIFE...I wish I were kidding hahaha--this earned Pete here a DnD GREAT ONE!-should we meet this year on the ice-PLAN ON IT (REMIND ME)Although my ol lady usually says "Please don't get killed doing what ever it is you guys'll be doing today...
petrgill

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. " What's the deal?" Fourth guy: " I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, " Fishing or Sex" and she said, " Wear a Sweater."

Posted Fri Dec 09, 2011 11:27 am

Why fishing is better than sex





18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines..

17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while.

16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything about Fishing.

15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you Fishing,you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous.

14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago

13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger.

12 - When you see a really good Fisherperson, you don't have feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together.

11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else.

10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you Fish by yourself.

9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop.

8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighborhood to buy Fishing stuff.

7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite coworkers to Fish with you without getting sued for harassment.

6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases.

5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel.

4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life.

3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it.

2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favorite activity.

1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just Fished last week! Is Fishing all you ever think about?"

Posted Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:36 pm

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